Early Signs Of Workaholism

Workaholic

It's Saturday night and you're at home… working. This would normally be the time to sip a few cold ones and share some good times with friends, but not anymore. Ever since that big promotion, you've decided that work has to come first. Working at home isn't that bad every now and again, right? Wrong. Once it becomes a regular routine, you might be unknowingly starting a new career as a workaholic.  

"Workaholic" sounds like a buzzword for office overachievers, but in today's competitive workplace, workaholism is an all-too-common problem that is characterized by an addiction to work. Just like any dependency, it's a serious cause for concern for the workaholic, their immediate family and their friends. The boss might think that a workaholic's long hours and superhuman work ethic are great for business, but that's often not the case.  

The greater the workload, the more damage you can do to your social life, your health and your emotional well-being. If you think that being a workaholic is honorable, think again. In the long run, it will hurt your career more than help it.

Are you a workaholic? We decided to take a closer look at the warning signs and what you can do to stop them in their tracks.

Working Outside The Office

Symptoms

When the workday ends for everyone else, yours continues. It might be an evening, a weekend or even a vacation. It doesn't matter, because if you're not doing at least some work, you'll feelbored and unproductive or, worse yet, worried out of your mind that you're not doing more work. Believe it or not, working past quitting time will hurt your productivity and your overall performance. It's also a health risk, as it can trigger numerous ailments (you don't need more headaches), make you tired and evoke a general feeling of isolation.  

Solution

If you're constantly working at home, you need to reclaim your peace and quiet and give your office space the boot. It's easier said than done, but you can start by keeping track of how many work hours are being put in at home. From there, formulate a plan to gradually lower them. Don't rush. Take small steps, such as not working on specific days, but be prepared for some bumps and bruises along the way. Just like kicking the toughest of bad habits, choosing to cut down on work will induce some withdrawal symptoms in the early stages. Depression and anxiety are some of the most common afflictions, but even with short-term setbacks, you and your body will be better off in the long run.
 
While you're dealing with these changes, take a trip to your doctor for a full physical. Ensure that you've got a clean bill of health and then make physical activity, sleep and a healthy diet the staples of your daily routine. When you're planning your next vacation, make sure that it doesn't involve work. Vacations shouldn't be complicated by business. Your relaxation time comes first.

Never Fully Disconnecting From Work

Symptoms

You might not be at your office around the clock, but most of your time is still based around work. Your important clients and coworkers all have your cell number when they need you. Your laptop is never out of sight, in case you need to log in at a moment's notice. It might feel like you're only making yourself available, but work is now taking priority over everything else. When that happens, you won't make the time for extracurricular activities that are important for you to enjoy.    

Solution

If you're maintaining a 24/7 connection with work, it's time to change your subscription and add a few new lifestyle channels. That means making the time for new and satisfying activities that will energize your mind and body -- not just your Blackberry typing skills. Even better are hobbies that will add diversity to your overall lifestyle. If your work keeps you inside and mostly stationary, your new hobbies should take you outside -- taking on jogging or golf as regular activities would certainly do the trick. The key is to pick something that you like, so that you can balance your lifestyle with the right mix of work, relaxation and fun.

To maintain this balance, you might also seek out a counselor or psychologist. Often, fresh ideas and an ear to listen can provide a steady, healthy outlet for healing. Furthermore, if you're feeling less "tuned in" to the office on your off-hours, it's a good thing. Don't feel guilty. Your new disconnection from the office will only serve to strengthen your abilities when you're back on the job.

Know when to pass on the work and switch off...

Refusal to delegate tasks

Symptoms

In your drive to succeed, you start to believe that you are the best person for any task that's sent your way. Because you want as much glory as possible, you will take on an abundance of work, and shun the participation of anyone else. Not only can this make you difficult to work with, but the long-term effects of not delegating will leave you with bad organizational skills and little time away from work. Instead of working with confidence in a positive environment, you could be stuck with an increased fear of failure and numerous sub-par working relationships. Don't expect another promotion.   

Solution

Your refusal to delegate can change if you take a big-picture approach to your choices and communicate properly at work. Don't try to do everything that's pushed your way. Plan your work around your life goals, and not the other way around. Think about where you want to be and how you really want to spend your time. Burning out won't do you any favors, so work within your means. If you're a consistent contributor without trying to steal the spotlight, your professional reputation and long-term value certainly won't suffer. If your goals are attainable, you won't feel the need to overcompensate.

One of these goals should be maintaining solid relationships with your coworkers. If there are a few relationships that need to be mended, it's up to you to make it happen. Strive for social interaction and regular communication with these people. Be willing to work together and be open to new ideas. In addition, if you can take short breaks to relax and collect your thoughts, you'll communicate more effectively and you'll be a lot more approachable. In time, a refusal to delegate will give way to a desire to work practically and an appreciation for working collectively.

constantly talking about work

Symptoms

It might be your friends, it might be your wife; if someone's willing to listen, you're more than happy to talk about work as much as possible. Maybe it's another project or a boss you dislike -- either way, you have to talk about it. While a little bit of work chatter is certainly allowed, you aren't actually paying attention to the people closest to you. Your relationship isn't with them, it's with your work, and the people in your life are turning into accessories. By harming your personal life, you are only encouraging yourself to keep working, especially when you push away the ones who care about you the most.

Solution

The topic of work might matter to you, but it's not necessarily popular with everyone else. Your friends and loved ones want you to be happy, but you need to give them their due attention as well. That starts with recognizing the affect that work is having on your conversations and intimate relationships as a whole. As with other addictions, an honest awareness of your problem goes a long way. Be honest and ask your family and friends for their feelings on how your work issues are affecting them. It won't be an easy conversation, but it will be a step in the right direction.

Giving your loved ones the proper attention isn't just about talking. It's also about spending time together. If you're in a relationship, set aside at the very least 30 minutes every day to talk, listen and enjoy each other. In case you're wondering, work isn't on that list of topics. If you're more inclined to spend time with your friends, do just that and engage in regular social outings. Make a point of surrounding yourself with positive people. It will give you happier thoughts and better things to talk about besides work.

balancing act

A perfect life balance for some might mean steady work, steady relationships and steady health. Certain people are more adept at balancing than others and when it comes to work, it's easy to let your mind and body get lost in the shuffle. The allure of a new job and a challenging workload might sound attractive on paper, but as you climb up the corporate ladder, don't forget to take care of yourself along the way. Otherwise, you could lose everything else in the process.

Breakthrough in HIV

MEDICINE

Breakthrough: A new drug that could cure everything from colds to HIV

Our most powerful antibiotics can kill many different kinds of bacterial infections at once, but we're still searching for a single all-purpose drug that kills viruses. We may have just discovered it.

Technically speaking, any drug that is used to treat a virus is known as an antiviral, and we use them to treat HIV, hepatitis, and certain flu strains. But those antivirals all have to be very specifically designed to take down one particular virus. The situation is even worse for vaccines, which don't exist for some diseases (and aren't practical for others, like the common cold) and need to be constantly redesigned to remain effective against evolving viral strains.

Creating a single antiviral drug that could kill lots of different viruses is a longstanding dream of medical researchers. Beyond all the obvious benefits of such an honest-to-goodness wonder drug, an all-purpose antiviral would give us a much better chance of fighting back against outbreaks of exotic viruses like SARS and swine flu. As a minor but still rather nice bonus, it could also be that long awaited cure for the common cold.

According to MIT research scientist Todd Rider, we're closer to such an antiviral than ever before. He's developed a drug named Draco, which he says has successfully vanquished 15 different viruses in lab trials on mice and human tissue. Those viruses include a quite literal murderer's row: dengue fever, polio, the swine flu, and the particularly nasty Ebola virus. And, yes, the common cold has also been tested, and Draco was able to get rid of it as well.

So how does Draco work? According to Rider, it combines his backgrounds in engineering and biology, wiring together a pair of proteins. The first protein detects that a virus has entered a cell, which triggers the second protein. In turn, that protein acts as a kill switch, destroying the infected cell to cut off the spread of the virus. That sacrifice represents a grimly practical solution, and so far, it seems to be working.

This is a seriously intriguing result, but there's some room for skepticism here. One cautious voice is that of Cambridge researcher Leo James, whose own antiviral research involves supercharging the immune system. He points out that Rider's results are highly unusual, and as such needs to be replicated by scientists elsewhere before we have a really good understanding of what's really going on here.

Either way, even though Rider has already put Draco to work on human tissue, that doesn't mean we're ready for human testing. There's a long road ahead for this drug, which will require tests on multiple rounds of larger animals before it's ready for human trials. Because viruses and human cells become so closely intertwined during an infection, it can be hard to control for all the side effects of an antiviral.

A good example of this is interferon, which was hailed a potential antiviral wonder drug back in the 1950s. Interferon works by detecting infections and sending signals to other cells to build up their defenses in preparation for an attack. The problem is that the drug also sends white blood cells racing to the infection. That's great news for more serious infections like hepatitis, for which interferon is still used today. But for more mild infections, like a cold, the inflammation, fever, and pain caused by the interferon cure is worse than the virus itself.

Draco has some similarities to interferon - they're both protein-based, which means Draco could also provoke an immune response. According to Rider, there's been no immune response so far in the mice who have received the drug. That's good news, but it may not directly correlate to the experience humans would have with the drug.

If Draco or one of the other antivirals works out, it would change the face of global health overnight. The ability to cure minor infections like the common cold could save people from a few days each year of ill health - which across an entire population would add up to a vastly more efficient workforce. And, looking even more broadly, the existence of an all-purpose antiviral would do a lot to reduce the health scares caused by new viral outbreaks, equipping us with a ready-made tool for the next big pandemic.

MEDICINE

Breakthrough: A new drug that could cure everything from colds to HIV

Our most powerful antibiotics can kill many different kinds of bacterial infections at once, but we're still searching for a single all-purpose drug that kills viruses. We may have just discovered it.

Technically speaking, any drug that is used to treat a virus is known as an antiviral, and we use them to treat HIV, hepatitis, and certain flu strains. But those antivirals all have to be very specifically designed to take down one particular virus. The situation is even worse for vaccines, which don't exist for some diseases (and aren't practical for others, like the common cold) and need to be constantly redesigned to remain effective against evolving viral strains.

Creating a single antiviral drug that could kill lots of different viruses is a longstanding dream of medical researchers. Beyond all the obvious benefits of such an honest-to-goodness wonder drug, an all-purpose antiviral would give us a much better chance of fighting back against outbreaks of exotic viruses like SARS and swine flu. As a minor but still rather nice bonus, it could also be that long awaited cure for the common cold.

According to MIT research scientist Todd Rider, we're closer to such an antiviral than ever before. He's developed a drug named Draco, which he says has successfully vanquished 15 different viruses in lab trials on mice and human tissue. Those viruses include a quite literal murderer's row: dengue fever, polio, the swine flu, and the particularly nasty Ebola virus. And, yes, the common cold has also been tested, and Draco was able to get rid of it as well.

So how does Draco work? According to Rider, it combines his backgrounds in engineering and biology, wiring together a pair of proteins. The first protein detects that a virus has entered a cell, which triggers the second protein. In turn, that protein acts as a kill switch, destroying the infected cell to cut off the spread of the virus. That sacrifice represents a grimly practical solution, and so far, it seems to be working.

This is a seriously intriguing result, but there's some room for skepticism here. One cautious voice is that of Cambridge researcher Leo James, whose own antiviral research involves supercharging the immune system. He points out that Rider's results are highly unusual, and as such needs to be replicated by scientists elsewhere before we have a really good understanding of what's really going on here.

Either way, even though Rider has already put Draco to work on human tissue, that doesn't mean we're ready for human testing. There's a long road ahead for this drug, which will require tests on multiple rounds of larger animals before it's ready for human trials. Because viruses and human cells become so closely intertwined during an infection, it can be hard to control for all the side effects of an antiviral.

A good example of this is interferon, which was hailed a potential antiviral wonder drug back in the 1950s. Interferon works by detecting infections and sending signals to other cells to build up their defenses in preparation for an attack. The problem is that the drug also sends white blood cells racing to the infection. That's great news for more serious infections like hepatitis, for which interferon is still used today. But for more mild infections, like a cold, the inflammation, fever, and pain caused by the interferon cure is worse than the virus itself.

Draco has some similarities to interferon - they're both protein-based, which means Draco could also provoke an immune response. According to Rider, there's been no immune response so far in the mice who have received the drug. That's good news, but it may not directly correlate to the experience humans would have with the drug.

If Draco or one of the other antivirals works out, it would change the face of global health overnight. The ability to cure minor infections like the common cold could save people from a few days each year of ill health - which across an entire population would add up to a vastly more efficient workforce. And, looking even more broadly, the existence of an all-purpose antiviral would do a lot to reduce the health scares caused by new viral outbreaks, equipping us with a ready-made tool for the next big pandemic.

REAL TALK: WHY MONEY MATTERS TO WOMEN

Does Money Matter?

 

"Here’s the thing: a goal-oriented woman (whatever those goals may be, from climbing the corporate ladder to being a successful artist to building an entrepreneurial empire) usually wants a goal-oriented man... A man’s bank account matters a lot less to me than his ambition and drive." 

You guys may have seen our AskWomen video series, where we got some real women to have some drinks and answer your questions about whether a guy can ever get out of the friend zone, whether size matters and whether body hair is a deal breaker. Well, here's a single girl's opinion on more of your questions. Readers have been kept anonymous.
Q: I recently went on a date with a young woman who said she doesn't date men her age because they "don't have a lot to offer." I took this as a very shallow and materialistic response. Because of today's economy, has it become increasingly OK for a person to put more emphasis on what a partner has to offer monetarily and be able to do so without being considered materialistic? Or is love still enough for some women? 

A: According to the Universal Order of Women handbook (in some sects, it’s Womyn), I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but we’re friends, right? We are? OK. Come closer. Closer. Here it is: All women are not the same.

We don’t look the same, we don’t dress the same, and we certainly don’t all want the same things. All we universally have in common is a vagina (and sometimes not even that). That being said, I’ll try to answer your question the best I can, both from my perspective and from an overall one.

Some women have chosen to follow a traditional path in life, which means settling down with a man who can support them, bearing and raising children, and taking care of the home and family. I don’t judge them for that, because I believe feminism is about choices, not limitations. But I definitely can’t speak for those ladies, let alone quantify their financial needs. (I suppose you could break it down to the lifetime cost of a child, multiplied by how many children she wants, and add a geographically average mortgage and living expenses to it, but that seems a bit intense). So if you want this kind of lady, then I really can’t help you as I have no idea what on earth they want. 

But if you’re looking to land a more career-oriented woman, or even a creatively ambitious one, the stakes are a bit different. I won’t say money is completely off the table as a consideration, because if a woman works hard to support herself she probably doesn’t want to spend all her money supporting a man with no means. But even that is not always the case. Here’s the thing: A goal-oriented woman (whatever those goals may be, from climbing the corporate ladder to being a successful artist to building an entrepreneurial empire) usually wants a goal-oriented man. 

A man’s bank account matters a lot less to me than his ambition and drive. Recently a very attractive retail employee was interested in me, and I told my friends I didn’t want to date him. Here’s why: It isn’t because he folds shirts all day (OK, maybe a tiny bit); it’s because beyond that job, I didn’t see any indication that he wanted any more out of life. He wasn’t a writer pursuing his dream of penning the great American novel, or a business-savvy web designer trying to get his own company off the ground, or a musician struggling to make it (although dating band dudes is a whole ‘nother enchilada of no thanks), all while making ends meet with this job. This job in and of itself (or any comparable job) is all he seems to want out of life. I want more, much more, and so I can’t see myself with someone who doesn’t. Which means whether he was a shop keep or a decently salaried office drone or a high-paid miserable accountant, I wouldn’t want to be with him.

So, anonymous reader, what your date may have meant when she said younger men “don’t have a lot to offer” is that perhaps they’re not as driven and ambitious as older men who are more set on their paths and hungry to be better at their chosen “thing.” But poor thing is wrong, because there are plenty of older dudes who are also captains of the S.S. No Aspirations, and, believe me, it’s not their maiden voyage. 

Age isn’t a factor here, and neither is materialism. It’s more intangible than that: It’s a shared future. At least that’s my take on it. Your date also might have just been a trife bitch, in which case, I can’t really speak to her state of mind because I’m way cooler and would totally love to go to Chili’s with you (which is where I imagine you took her, as they have excellent meal deals). 

Choose more wisely, and you’ll find a girl who has the same end game as you: happiness. Or as my homegirl J.Lo put it, “Love don’t cost a thing.” She also said that, to her, staying real is like breathing, but I don’t really know what that means, so let’s just end this here.

5 Ways To Know For Sure That You're Dating The Wrong Woman

The Dating Rules

"So obsessed are we with the bragging rights and the ego boost that come from her agreeing to see us again that we skip the part where we ask ourselves if she’s really earned a callback." 

Dating is not a one-man show. Some guys -- out of gratitude for getting the date in the first place -- forget that the woman has to play her part, too. You’ve worked up the courage to ask her out because that’s what men do. You’ve chosen the spot because it’s your responsibility to impress her. And you’re paying, because, progress in sexual roles aside, men still need to step up and own that part. 

But what is her part in this dance? 

You may be leading, but if there were a panel of judges à la So You Think You Can Dance, both of you would be scored. We cannot forget that we have standards and that women have to meet them. Too many times I've seen guys planning the second date before they even consider if she deserves another shot. So obsessed are we with the bragging rights and the ego boost that come from her agreeing to see us again that we skip the part where we ask ourselves if she’s really earned a callback. 

We have to remember that these first dates are as much about us learning about her as they are about worrying if we are getting it right. I can even recall a time when I didn’t call my date out on some borderline racist comments merely because the prospect of sex was on the table. She was hot, but there needs to be a line. With that in mind, here are five big deal breakers that separate the girls who deserve to go home with you and those who don't. 

The Service-Appreciation Rule

This one is obvious, but it’s key. There are few things less attractive than rude. A good place to look for red flags is in how she treats the waiter. If I'm out with an entitled girl who treats others around us poorly, I'm looking for the door. A date that makes the waiter feel nervous or lesser than us makes me feel like I need to double the tip out of guilt -- and rudeness is not a trait you can really change in a person. So while you’re sweating to make sure you order the right wine and have a good anecdote or two, don’t forget to make sure she is being respectful of the place you’ve invited her to. It is, literally, the least she can do.

The Dance-Around-The-Bill Rule

You’re paying. It’s pretty simple. If you have invited some girl to join you somewhere, it seems pretty obvious to me that you better step up and handle the bill. So if you’re on the lower end of the income meter, choose something a little more modest, because the waiter is dropping that bill on your side of the table. 

But here's the kicker: We know we should pay, but that doesn't mean she should expect it. I know it seems like a circular argument, but a girl who doesn’t even look at the bill when it comes is coming from a vastly different place than a girl who makes an offer. She is allowed to tell her friends you’re a complete jerk if you let her pay, but you are entitled to the common courtesy of her offer. The fact is, this part is less about her sending you a signal of her appreciation of your gesture, and more about her basic perception of relationship dynamics and even the way money factors into it. There are dating etiquette rules, and for me, if this one gets missed, things are off to a rocky start.

"The only thing worse than rude is drunk and rude." 

The Conversation Rule

Nobody likes a chatterbox, but even worse is one who shows no interest in what you have going on. I have been on dates where the girl has amazing stories and seems to live an extraordinary life, but by date’s end, she has no idea if I even have a job. 

Let me be clear: It is important to ask a lot of questions and get a sense of what her life is all about. This is not only about showing interest, but getting a sense of how she perceives her own situation -- is she happy, does she speak of her job and family like a curse she is trying to break, etc. The real problem is not if she handles that perfectly (the girl is also allowed to be a bit nervous too -- it’s a date, after all), but to see if she is egocentric or generally curious about your situation. If you see that she has not asked you a single question about what you like or how much your job can drive you crazy, it’s a very good indicator that this girl is self-involved. To be fair, you have to remember to do your part, but if she does not reciprocate, call off date No. 
2. She is likely looking for an actor in her own play, not a co-playwright.

The Drinking Rule

The only thing worse than rude is drunk and rude. I am not talking about a girl who starts ordering shots of tequila and shrieking in delight when the waiter arrives with her appetizer. You don’t need my advice to know if that’s a problem (in fact, that may be your idea of a perfect date). But if you are serious about dating, you need to keep an eye on the casual alcohol intake. I can handle my wine. A pretty strict rule of thumb for me is whether or not she is drinking more than I am and if it looks like she needs it to find me funny. 

I am not suggesting a fun date is out of the question, but just that you should keep note if more glasses of wine go into her mouth than pieces of food. If that tendency is leaking out on the first or second date, you can be sure it will be something that will escalate. The right girl would know enough to wait a bit longer and get to know me before we both begin to embarrass ourselves. It’s not only about the drinking; it’s about self-awareness and her ability to socialize with some degree of class.

The Thank-You Rule

Unless you have found the worst date on the planet, she will say thanks when the bill gets paid. That’s just basic manners. But dating goes beyond the simple manners, and the standards are a little different than a dinner in which you treat a client to a steak. 

I am very big on the “next day" thank you, either in the form of a text or a call. If you have succeeded in making a first or second date anything more than just awkward conversation between two relative strangers, that is a credit to you and your skills in the dating game. The communication the next day is key, but the main component of that is that she needs to take the first step. 

You already did your part when you asked her out. The reason why this one is key is twofold. First, it reinforces that she appreciates what you did -- that you had the nerve to ask her out and you planned an evening. The right girl will call attention to this fact in a nice way in the 48 hours after the date. The second reason is that if she skips this one, she is likely not interested in a second date. Don’t start getting creative and reaching out to her in clever ways to open the door for the thanks. Trust me, I’ve tried it. Posting on her wall does not come across as casual; it’s a pretty obvious play. You need to take this as a hint. If she hasn’t really given you the proper follow-up, you should know not to waste any more time.

The Final Word

The bottom line is that men need to remember that dating is a two-way street. The pressure will always be on us to step up and take the reins, but we are also entitled to judge the performance of our costar. As a rule, confidence is the No. 1 thing women gravitate toward (they all say sense of humor, but that isn’t worth anything if you’re shy and insecure). And confidence means being secure enough to stand by your standards. At the very least, you deserve that.

WHY MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS

Sex With Strangers

 

IT'S CONFIRMED: MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS

It doesn’t take much to convince a man to have sex. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t take any convincing at all -- just a hot woman, and even the hot part is optional.

Scientists ran a study to prove that men will have sex with anything or anyone anywhere, and the results aren’t exactly groundbreaking. 

When a gorgeous female approached a random male on the street, a whopping 97% of men agreed to go back to her place right away for a drink, and 83% said yes to immediate sex. 

Apparently the thought of her being the Jigsaw Killer doesn’t seem to cross their minds.

Interestingly enough, men are not as trusting to average-looking girls, though. When the grenade approached, only 80% of men agreed to go back to her place, while only 60% approved of instant sex.

In contrast, not even 1% of women agreed to the same proposition when the tables were turned.

While it’s not surprising, it’s a tad startling that such a high percentage of men will trust a stranger in an unknown place just because the prospect of sex is on the line. 

Top 10: Reasons Why Men Cheat

Adultery has been around forever, and has always given us something to talk about. Most reality TV shows these days center on it, as do gossip mags. But we are far from cracking the big mystery: Why do some men cheat in relationships?

All men know, at some level, that cheating is wrong. From the earliest age, we are taught the virtues of monogamy. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," bellows our Judeo-Christian consciousness. Yet we still do it.

blame it on the genes

In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another zip code, it doesn't count.

And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity.

Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options. Here are the 10 main reasons why some men will opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners.

Number 10

Your lady doesn't put out
Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.

Number 9

She cheated on you
So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency.

Number 8

It's challenging and exciting
If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavors for one day after years of sticking to just one.

Number 7

You can get away with it
"What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting, not to mention boosting their network of spies.

Number 6

It boosts your ego
Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not.


What's a guy to do when his girlfriend's-a-naggin' and opportunity comes-a-knocking'

Number 5

The opportunity was there
It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe diem , as they say.

Number 4

Your girlfriend is a nag
Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin.

Number 3

Women let us
Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton.

Number 2

She doesn't turn you on anymore
Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women.

Number 1

You don't love her anymore
Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup.

your cheating heart

In the end, cheating is no joking matter. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife, it might be that you are unhappy in the relationship, or that you have issues that you should address. Look at the big picture and see your unfaithfulness as a symptom of a bigger problem.

Cheating might feel good as a quick escape from your problems, but it's only an anesthetic -- not a long-term solution.

Top 10: Reasons Women Cheat

Credit: iStockPhoto.com

Diane Lane did it in Unfaithful. Annette Bening did it in American Beauty. Sarah Jessica Parker did it on Sex and the City. And they’re not the only ones. Although women haven’t surpassed men on the cheating scale, more married women than ever before are jumping in the sack with someone other than their husbands. According to an American Sexual Behavior study, 14% of married women have cheated at least once, compared to 22% of married men. Not that we’re condoning two-timing from either party, but here are the top 10 reasons women cheat.

Number 10

Not enough sex

Remember the good old days when you could stay up forever fooling around? Then responsibility entered the mix -- and kids -- and before you knew it, sleep was more important than sex. Well, women want to feel wanted. If you’re not making her feel that way, she could seek it elsewhere. To keep that spark alive, ask her out on date nights, send her provocative e-mails at lunch, and by all means, don’t let life get in the way of kissing, cuddling and sex.

Number 9

Being the bad girl

Just as men feel the urge to sow their wild oats, some women have an inner sex kitten just waiting to be unleashed -- and when the beast escapes from the cage, look out. This frisky behavior usually rears its ugly head in response to some sort of life change -- major weight loss, new job, new friends, mid-life crisis, etc. Keep the lines of communication open and she’ll be more likely to talk to you about what’s going on instead of spilling her guts to a stranger in the night. 

Number 8

Self-esteem

Sex can be an instant pick-me-up; a self-esteem booster that makes women feel sexier, more beautiful and more loved. If your wife or girlfriend has self-esteem issues, it doesn’t mean she’s automatically going to cheat -- and it’s certainly not your fault if she does -- but there are ways to make her feel secure in the relationship that could help her from straying. Pay attention to her, ask her questions and don’t hold back on compliments -- a little flattery goes a long way with women.

Number 7

Revenge/payback for past wrongs

No, you didn’t cheat, but whether you blew your retirement fund in Vegas or got caught in a big lie, you did break her trust (and, possibly, her heart). She feels wounded and betrayed -- and wants to hurt you the same way you hurt her. To regain her trust, it’s not enough just to tell her you’re sorry; you have to show her. Actions speak louder than words.

Number 6

Lack of intimacy

You have it all: the house, the two-car garage and the two-and-a-half bathrooms -- at least on the outside. But inside, the relationship is lacking the one thing women want most: intimacy. It’s not just sex that makes women feel connected in a relationship; it’s touching, kissing, cuddling, and communicating. Women crave it, and she could seek it elsewhere if she’s not getting it at home. To improve intimacy, spend quality time together, give her a foot massage, make a romantic dinner for two -- anything that will give her a sense of unity and closeness.

Number 5

Feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated

Women wear many hats in a relationship -- housekeeper, errand-runner, grocery shopper, babysitter, etc. When she feels more like a maid than a girlfriend/wife, that’s when she could stray. The fact that you spend all your time at work or on the golf course gives her double reason to seek attention elsewhere. No, you can’t quit your job, but you can thank her for all her selfless deeds -- and do your share around the house.

Number 4

Your emotional withdrawal

Women are emotional beings. Not only do they need physical support, but they also need emotional support. Once you retreat from the relationship, she sees it as a sign that things are through -- a breakup is inevitable. So, she’s not really cheating, she’s moving on. To avoid this, be present in the relationship. Yes, that means sharing your icky feelings, but it’s better than the alternative, right?

Number 3

Bedroom boredom

Sex can become monotonous if you let it -- the same position; the same setting; the same person. An affair adds adventure and gets her adrenalin flowing. To avoid routine, avoid repetition. Sweep her away for the weekend, make out at the movies, kiss her for no reason at all... The unexpected adds excitement.

Number 2

Exit strategy

Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesn’t have to deal with the broken relationship, which is much harder to fix. An affair is the easy way out -- or at least that’s how she sees it. That’s another reason communication is key. Let her know that she can talk to you about anything and that you love her enough to work through any bumps in the relationship road.

Number 1

Revenge for your cheating

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Because you cheated, she wants to get back at you and give you a dose of your own medicine. Cheating is her vengeance, her chance to even the playing field. No, you can’t undo your indiscretion, but you can ask for her forgiveness, assure her it will never happen again and suggest couples therapy to help you get through this tough time.

her cheating heart

When you add up all the reasons women cheat, it’s usually her heart (or her ego) that needs healing, not her libido. Keep the lines of communication open, be supportive and encouraging and work at keeping that spark ignited. In other words: Don’t give her a reason to stray.

What is IVF?

IVF (In vitro fertilisation)

What is IVF? IVF is an acronym for in vitro fertilization ('in vitro' meaning 'in glass'). Simply put IVF is adding a man's sperm to his female partners eggs in the laboratory to produce embryos. In vitro fertilization is an option for many couples who cannot conceive through conventional therapies. These embryos are put back into the female partner's uterus (womb) after 3 to 5 days of being in the incubator, hopefully they will then grow into a baby. The reasons IVF is done include - poor sperm quality and/or quantity, obstructions between the egg and sperm, ovulation problems, and sperm-egg interaction problems. These problems can prevent couples having a baby naturally, and IVF helps to solve this. Specific conditions that might require IVF include: Tubal blockage or failed tubal reversal Endometriosis Cervical factor Pelvic adhesions Male factor Unexplained infertility/ failed conventional therapy Genetic testing (PGD) for inheritable diseases Genetic testing (PGD) for possible reasons for multiple miscarriages The first IVF baby was Louise Brown, born at 11:47 p.m. on July 25, 1978 at Oldham General Hospital, Oldham, England through a planned caesarean section. She weighed 5 pounds, 12 ounces (2.608 kg) at birth. Dr. Patrick Steptoe, a gynecologist at Oldham General Hospital, and Dr. Robert Edwards, a physiologist at Cambridge University, had been actively working on finding an alternative solution for conception since 1966. Video The video shows a conventional insemination with the egg surrounded by coronal and cumulus cells and sperm swimming around the egg. The video shifts focus over time from the egg to the sperm.

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